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Unread 07-06-2013, 09:53 AM   #1
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Default Not interested in socializing?

This isn't a psychosis issue for me, but I don't know where else to post it?

I'm so tired of anything social right now. I like to be alone. I'm sick of getting phone calls from people that I'm frankly not interested in developing any kind of friendship and/or relationship with. I'm never interested in relationships of any kind, romantic or otherwise, 95% of the time. I have like two friends, but that's about it and even then they know they have to give me a lot of space.

I just don't like it when people talk to me. It's not because I'm scared of social interaction, it's that I'm genuinely not interested most of the time. The internet is lovely because I can interact with people and gather information and support that I need without feeling as uncomfortable as I do with people in "real life". I like it better when people keep their distance. I'm a distant person and I like it that way.

I don't know if this belongs in this forum(I'm wondering if it belongs in Personality Place somewhere since this is "stable and enduring" even when my psychosis related issues aren't in their active phases), but I'm not sure where else to post.

Relationships are a disaster for me anyway, and that just adds to my indifference and distance about the whole thing. I just don't like it and don't care enough most of the time to try and get attached to anyone.

Can anyone else relate to any of this at all?
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Unread 07-06-2013, 10:05 AM   #2
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

I can relate to this. You have more friends than I do. My romantic relationships ended in disaster, trigger issues in me when they, and I know I will never be married, so why date?

I think my distance from humans and desire to not engage stems from the fact my family has let me down & abandon me. The internet is much safer.
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Unread 07-06-2013, 03:37 PM   #3
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

Hi,

I haven't posted to this board in a really long time, but I can relate to what you wrote. Although I've never been the most social individual, I used to enjoy socializing to an extent until the onset of my psychosis six years ago. Since then, engaging in conversations is something that's been extremely difficult for me, especially when I'm trying to converse with people I don't know very well. I think that for me, this might be due to the cognitive impairment that came on at the same time my psychosis emerged. These days, I have a lot of trouble following what other say, and that leaves very little room coming up with anything to say in response to what other say. So, usually when someone says something to me (especially something that's rather lengthy), I just end up sitting there taking in what they have to say and usually end up saying very little in response. Getting into this sort of dynamic isn't something that I enjoy at all, so I also spend most of my time alone and prefer when others keep their distance from me.

To a certain extent, I've always had a tendency toward solitude. I've never had many friends, and I was actually voted the quietest in my high school graduating class. I've only been in one romantic relationship, and I wouldn't say that I'm looking to enter into one any time soon. Engaging in conversations is something that's become much more difficult for me since the onset of my psychosis, but as I said, I think that I've always been less social than most individuals I come across. Sometimes I suspect that I have schizoid personality disorder in addition to my schizoaffective disorder and chronic fatigue and hypersomnia, only that the personality disorder is something that I've had my entire life.

Like you, I'm glad to have the Internet, because it gives me the opportunity to experience some level of human interaction without requiring me to communicate verbally. I've always been better at written communication than I've been at verbal communication, and I like how with writing I can sit back and take as much time as I need before saying what I want to say.

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Unread 07-06-2013, 04:34 PM   #4
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

I hate socializing. I tolerate work, but avoid talking to others when avoidable. I always turn down any social invitations. I have one friend who lives thousands of miles away. We talk on the phone occasionally, and text.
I am married. I enjoy my wife. She seems to love me. I don't really understand how or why she and I work, but we seem to.
Part of it may be that while she's more social than I am, she's not very social herself. When she does do things with her friends or family, she seems okay with letting me choose whether or not I go to. Which I usually don't. I don't know if that's mental health related at all. Maybe its just a personal preference?
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Unread 07-06-2013, 04:34 PM   #5
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

I always wondered if I would go a little nuts if I didn't have the internet. think about it o.0
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Unread 07-06-2013, 04:47 PM   #6
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

since i was child i had trouble socializing.

im not interested a lot of times but im 100% scared all the time. ive been afraid/nervous even of my immediate family. so not to mention even my extended family and of course people i dont know. i used to be not so scared of online stuff. ive been increasingly scared of it to the point of deleting all my accts ive ever had and shutting down emails. all kinds of things.

anyway yea i also have trouble socializing. always have. my social skills i realize by now are severely inept. i have no friends and havent since 2008. from 2008-2010 i was talking to someone once a month but it died out.
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Unread 07-07-2013, 12:16 AM   #7
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

I am another person who can definitely relate to your experience.

Being alone is rejuvenating and relaxing. There is no need to conform to the expectations of others. I can be me, the real Didgee. I can also escape in my "odd" interests. Alone time is my time and I love it! Nobody bothers me.

I don't like getting close to people because it takes a lot of effort for me to express my feelings. I also find most people perplexing.

Usually, I need to socialize once a week. I have a few acquaintances, family and one very good friend, I can choose from. If not, the internet fulfills my need.
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Unread 07-07-2013, 05:00 PM   #8
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

I also have problems with being social. I'm basically a semi-hermit. I only go out of the house to get groceries, go to work, or go to T or pdoc. I have no local friends and only a couple friends from college that live in other states.

T has encouraged me multiple times to find a social group to get to meet people and make friends. I tried once...but no one talked to me and everyone was not all that friendly, so I never went back. I am not one to approach people, it's just not me.
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Unread 07-09-2013, 10:49 AM   #9
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

I go through phases where I want to be left alone and then phases where I am upset that I'm being left alone. I don't know what causes it.

I feel I'm really awkward at socializing in general, even with people I know. I'm kind of in a quieter mood recently. I also have pressured speach, though, with my bipolar and sometimes even if I don't want to talk I can't shut up.
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Unread 09-11-2013, 07:21 PM   #10
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Default Re: Not interested in socializing?

I know the feeling I had psychosis 5 years ago 4 times haven't had it since but I go into depression and don't want to leave the house. Or be around people or go any were. I wish that would go away. Cause I used to be very sociable .
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