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Unread 06-28-2013, 02:33 PM   #1
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Default religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

Has anyone else had any experience of themes of religion or the devil being involved in their illness?

I began to get ill about 20 years ago and at that time I was wanting to go to church and was thinking about the meaning of life and expecting my first child.

About 10 years later I became a Christian. But I've now come to the conclusion that I can't seem to be a healthy Christian because of a tendency to get out of balance with things on a religious theme due to the illness. Can anyone else relate?
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Unread 06-28-2013, 03:02 PM   #2
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by roseblossom View Post
Has anyone else had any experience of themes of religion or the devil being involved in their illness?

I began to get ill about 20 years ago and at that time I was wanting to go to church and was thinking about the meaning of life and expecting my first child.

About 10 years later I became a Christian. But I've now come to the conclusion that I can't seem to be a healthy Christian because of a tendency to get out of balance with things on a religious theme due to the illness. Can anyone else relate?
I don't think I can relate but I have attributed most of my problems to evil and when things got worse instead of better, I would just lose hope but something always brings me back up.
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Unread 06-28-2013, 03:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

Yes---I thought that people were working with the devil---I thought that I had accidentally sold my soul and become the third horse of the apocalypse. Finally when I couldn't take it anymore I prayed to God to help me. The next day I got risperidone which worked for me. Slowly all the voices and delusions left me. While I made a promise to God that I would always believe I'm afraid of trying traditional Christianity because it may make things worse for me in the future. The more I know the more I have things to fuel my insanity. Take the third horse of the apocalypse...when I actually looked up the third horse it was famine, now I donate to the food bank regularly, how could I be famine, that would be too ironic. Thus the delusion ended once I figured it out.
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Unread 06-28-2013, 03:42 PM   #4
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

yea i had the same deal.
god was sending me mathematical messages through the air. speaking to me.
i still strongly believe in demons and ghosts inhabit my vicinity. where i live. where i go.
i started going to church more.
they found out i was mentally ill.
i physically ran through the local church. did some things i wont say (for privacy concerns).
confessed my powers...basically.
i have visions. still do. of the apocalypse.
of riioting in the streets in religious ideas.
i feel ive predicted stuff. truly. most of my visions match up to reality.
but get real...whose gonna believe me that isnt into that stuff? im not stupid.
but i believe what i see and hear is real.

i would go and pray by myself for an hour in the chapel after-hours many times.

thing is...i wasnt religious be4 it happened.
now i am.

i wanted to become a nun and priest. and wanted to give all my stuff away.
i was planning to preach on the corner.
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Unread 06-28-2013, 04:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by heyitsme7 View Post
I don't think I can relate but I have attributed most of my problems to evil and when things got worse instead of better, I would just lose hope but something always brings me back up.
I can relate to attributing illness to evil.
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Unread 06-28-2013, 04:16 PM   #6
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

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Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic View Post
Yes---I thought that people were working with the devil---I thought that I had accidentally sold my soul and become the third horse of the apocalypse. Finally when I couldn't take it anymore I prayed to God to help me. The next day I got risperidone which worked for me. Slowly all the voices and delusions left me. While I made a promise to God that I would always believe I'm afraid of trying traditional Christianity because it may make things worse for me in the future. The more I know the more I have things to fuel my insanity. Take the third horse of the apocalypse...when I actually looked up the third horse it was famine, now I donate to the food bank regularly, how could I be famine, that would be too ironic. Thus the delusion ended once I figured it out.
I can totally understand why you have reservations about trying traditional Christianity. That's brilliant the way you handled the delusion of being the third horse of the apocalypse.

It is just so strange the way religion seems to crop up in people's delusions and thoughts when they are unwell..
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Unread 06-28-2013, 04:19 PM   #7
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
yea i had the same deal.
god was sending me mathematical messages through the air. speaking to me.
i still strongly believe in demons and ghosts inhabit my vicinity. where i live. where i go.
i started going to church more.
they found out i was mentally ill.
i physically ran through the local church. did some things i wont say (for privacy concerns).
confessed my powers...basically.
i have visions. still do. of the apocalypse.
of riioting in the streets in religious ideas.
i feel ive predicted stuff. truly. most of my visions match up to reality.
but get real...whose gonna believe me that isnt into that stuff? im not stupid.
but i believe what i see and hear is real.

i would go and pray by myself for an hour in the chapel after-hours many times.

thing is...i wasnt religious be4 it happened.
now i am.

i wanted to become a nun and priest. and wanted to give all my stuff away.
i was planning to preach on the corner.
I have wanted to become a nun too, but now I think that I have lost my salvation so that wouldn't work. I have given quite a lot away at different times.

Are you taking any medication and does it make any difference?
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Unread 06-28-2013, 05:31 PM   #8
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

i sometimes but not really take haldol. im SUPPOSED to be but i cant function on any med. function normally. medications have rarely taken away my paranoid or delusions. or anything. it only takes away voices anyway.
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Unread 06-28-2013, 05:31 PM   #9
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

I see a big difference between religion and spirituality. I believe that having some kind of ritual (like in the Catholic Church) helps some of us. Having faith and connection helps some of us. But I tend to get really creeped out with extremes and I can see how easy it would be to lose touch with reality and have religious delusions. Some of it has to do with it (Catholocism) being shoved down my throat, shaming and frightening me into the practice of religious rituals as a child. I was told that I was a sinner. So it makes sense that these things would creep up in to my psychosis.

Although I don't feel acutely psychotic at the moment, I do feel that I am not worthy to have a good life, that God is punishing me; that I have done something wrong. I know it sounds irrational, but it's because I'm not happy and I don't feel a connection to God. I get told all the time to have faith and have a relationship with God, and I do pray but I still don't feel better... so yeah, sometimes I do think I am a bad person,and you could conclude that I am delusional to a degree. So there is a religious component to my illness.



Then there are the people who insist that I have a spiritual disease and not a mental illness....that's a whole rant that I won't get into. (for now)
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Unread 06-29-2013, 09:07 AM   #10
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Default Re: religion and schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder

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Originally Posted by mimi2112 View Post
Then there are the people who insist that I have a spiritual disease and not a mental illness....that's a whole rant that I won't get into. (for now)
That's something that I have got stuck over again and again - whether it is a spiritual disease and not a mental illness? For me personally, I was and maybe still am a bit convinced that it has been a spiritual disease, but it has caused me so much unhappiness and stress, that I am trying to change my mindset and am reviewing this belief. To be honest though I really think that I need the help of a psychologist but the nhs seem to have shut the door on funding one. Its hard to not to feel depressed.
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