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Unread 11-16-2007, 07:15 PM   #1
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Default He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

We've only known each other for a month and dated for a week now and he's already told me he loves me. He's uttered the words "I love you" to me twice and called me his love once. He's given me a ring of his that has his name on it and when I asked why he said he wanted to show his appreciation. We're both 25 years old and I don't see myself wanting to rush into any relationship right now but he's shown me all the signs. I've told him that I feel pressure from him and that he's only going to push me away if he doesn't slow down because I don't understand why all the rush.

I asked him how can he tell me he loves me when he doesn't even know me when he doesn't even understand our relationship yet. I asked him if this is something he does normally with his past girlfriend and he saids no. He just said that he gets a feeling that I'm the right one and that those words just came out. I told him that those words are very meaningful to me and they must be honest and truthful and they must be honest. I told him that I don't believe those words when he speaks of them, the way they should be meant for with truthfulness and passion because even he doesn't understand what it means to know when it is right to say " I love you".

What does this say about a person when they does something like this? What do you think I should be expecting in this relationship?
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Unread 11-16-2007, 10:03 PM   #2
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

Well, I could love someone after knowing them 1 month. It depends on what kind of personality they have. As far as wanting to marry them or get into a commited relationship, that is a different level of love.

I love some things about all women. They are usually the tender ones.
Try to find out what he means by saying he loves you.
You could be having an over reaction to the phrase.

Some people are just naturally loving and it is easy to love them.

I love my wife and I've been with her 35 years, however, I also love some other women but not with the intensity I love my wife.

Just my opinion so, take it for whatever it is worth to you.
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Unread 11-16-2007, 11:03 PM   #3
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

Some people have love at first sight. Some people learn to love someone. Sometimes love grows and sometimes it dies a horrible bloody death. This makes it interesting.

It's understandable that him telling you he loves you so early freaks you out. You weren't ready to hear it, which tells me he doesn't read you terribly well. Or if he does, his feelings were just so intense he had to get them out. Whatever the case, you're not ready regardless of what's behind his words. I'd tell him that if I were you. If he really loves you, he can be patient.

What I wouldn't do is rush into something you're not ready for due to his feelings. Don't be pressured, take you time, and if he's the right guy, he'll pace himself for you.

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Unread 11-17-2007, 02:27 AM   #4
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

'Love' is one of those tricky words that means different things when said in different contexts. I... Thought to myself 'I think I love him' after being with my bf for only a couple weeks. We didn't know each other very well but I guess I was thinking that out of all the people I've met... I could see that (how I feel right now) I could see spending the rest of my life with him. Of course things might not work out (I might come to see a side of him that I'm not at all fussed on)... But I thought I loved him right from then, yeah. Didn't tell him though 'cause I didn't want to freak him out. I said 'I think I might be falling for you' and it seemed to make him feel a little uncomfortable. So I haven't said it again.

Take your time and see how things go. I think it could be a good idea to ask him what he meant...
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Unread 11-17-2007, 07:57 AM   #5
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

Hey Jennifer,

I can understand the bit of a pickle yyou are in. I know that I would freak out if told "I love you" only having known someone and dated them for just a few weeks. I do believe in love at first site. I did work with a guy that married his wife after only knowing one another for just 6 weeks. Amazing. The had been very happily married for over 10 years! i do believe this to be an exception rather than the rule. I have known my husband since 5th grade. He also lived in my neighborhood and we played together with othrs as friends. We sorta went our ways, though, until juniors in high school when we started to run around with each other including another friend. I have to admid that when we were seniors, I found him to be incredibly sexy and loved it when he wore tight jeans (not in style now). He also used to wear a pair of parachute pants and loved to play with his zippers.I feel that we were drawn to each other and when 18, our relationship became rather intimate but we had no commitments but had lots of fun. Ended up that when we were 22, we moved out of our parent's homes and rented a house together as friends. He had graduated from college and traveled constantly.He wanted a roommate so that someone would be around to watch his stuff as he was fearful of it getting stolen. I needed a rommate as I was working fulltime and going to school part-time. I just didn't make the money to make it on my own. That was about Sept.1 of 1989. By Novenber, I knew that I loved him and wanted to marry him.Of course, he didn't have an idea. I would have scared him to death. It wasn't until the next May that a friend coerced me to tell her that I was intersted in him. I was given the ultimatum to tell him how I felt or she would. I did have a talk with him and learned that he was feeling the same about me and we agreed to take things slowly. In Julyl, the dreaded words "I love you" slipped out of my mouth over the phone. I heard nothing but silence. I tried to recover the best I could. UGH Ended up, that we were married on Oct. 5 of 1991. We have been very happy since.

I realize that my story is much different that yours. You were very wise to tell that that you felt pressured and that he could push you away. You need some time to cultivate such strong feelings. I would tell him gently that you weren't ready for his little surprise and need time and patience.
After all, we are talking about a major life commitment. If he isn't willing to be patient and wait, then he must not truly love you. In that case, you have to move on.

I hope that you can make some peace with him and that he understands and practices some discretion in the words he utters. Hopefully should he listen, you can feel more comfortable in his presence ahd perhaps learn that you do love him or that he is not the man of your dreams. Never settle for less.

Be Blessed and Good Luck,
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Unread 11-17-2007, 12:28 PM   #6
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

This may not be what you're looking for, but, it isn't possible to be in love with someone after a month. What he loves is how good he feels about himself when he's with you. It's all about him, not you.

I wish I'd gone with my instincts when that happened to me. Are you ready to be mother to a 25-yr-old child?
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Unread 11-17-2007, 01:18 PM   #7
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

Jenn, honey,
Please don't find yourself feeling you need to reciprocate feelings that aren't there for YOU! Just because someone chooses YOU and tells you they "love you" doesn't mean you need to try to feel the same if you don't! Since you are expressing doubts, please take your time with this fella! Your doubts may be well-founded, and you have to listen to your "inner voice!"
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Unread 11-17-2007, 06:00 PM   #8
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

I had a girlfriend who had a guy like that for awhile and ran for the hills when the guy took her to look at houses for him to buy that they were going to live in after they got married! They'd only been dating a short while, like you and this guy.

Follow your instincts. If he's this pushy now he's not going to get any less pushy later! He isn't thinking "right", doesn't know how to relate properly. That's not your problem.
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Unread 11-17-2007, 07:24 PM   #9
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

Remembering of course that we also tend to have this stereotype of male female interactions where the guy actively persues the girl and the girl sets the pace.

I could tell you the things that I like about him so you would see that it isn't JUST about how he makes me feel (though that is a part of it of course).

That being said you are well within your rights to say 'no'. Just like if he were to be pressuring you for sex or something like that. You would also be well within your rights to say 'I have no idea whether I love you or not because for me it takes time'. You would also be well within your rights to say 'I feel pressured when you tell me that you love me. I don't feel ready for that yet'.
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Unread 11-18-2007, 03:45 PM   #10
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Default Re: He\'s already said he loves me but we don\'t even know each other

He don't love you yet...you're probably cute to him, he's infatuated. Don't jump into anything to quick because a guy sounds adorable when he says he loves you....I've done this before. Thought love at first sight...but it's bs.
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