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Unread 10-05-2007, 08:11 AM   #1
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Default histrionic personality and relationships

i 've met someone who i like who shows lots of signs of being histrionic ,emotional ,lively,expressive ,from my gut feeling i say to myself 'keep yourself safe ' get out before it starts, from what i've read it states life could be stormy, i find it awful to see the label before the person, anyone have more knowledge or experience? i know life is a risky business but...........
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Unread 10-05-2007, 09:17 AM   #2
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Default Re: histrionic personality and relationships

"Emotional, lively, expressive" does not describe histrionic; histrionic is a disabling personality disorder related to "attention seeking".

It sounds like you want someone "calm" so I would look for someone you see calmness in. You are the one doing the labeling so the other person is going to "appear" to be like you have decided they are so they're going to appear to act that way to you too. It's like anything you "look for" you see more of it (pick a color for a car next time you're driving somewhere and you'll see that color car everywhere :-)

If you don't want to put the label before the person, try learning about a person from experience with that individual instead of from what you read!
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Unread 10-05-2007, 12:18 PM   #3
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Default Re: histrionic personality and relationships

I have been diagnosed with Histrionics, but it is in conjunction with BPD.

While histrionics is a part of my illness, my "normal" personality also includes being "emotional, lively, expressive." And I like that about me. I like how people, places and situations can excite me, and I find that it is often contagious, as those around me seem to express their interest more readily and more easily than they might otherwise with someone who has a more staid demeanor.

Obviously, someone with a gregarious personality is going to attract more attention, will create more "controversy" (for lack of a better word), and will always challenge your own emotional "comfort zones."

Don't just write this person off just because she(?) is this way - even if part of her behavior is due to histrionics. If you allow it, she could greatly enhance any experience you share together, just by virtue of her natural exuberance.

Because I have this type of personality, the people that tend to accept me more readily for who I am are those who are already comfortable about who they are themselves, and have strong personal boundaries.

Strong personal boundaries is very important to have when you are dealing with someone with histrionics. And don't forget, there is always degrees in disorders. Just because she may have histrionic tendencies, does not mean she is or will end up being a "nightmare" relationship.

And Perna is right: the more you focus on this, the bigger it will become to you.
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Unread 10-05-2007, 01:02 PM   #4
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Default Re: histrionic personality and relationships

Emotional, lively, and expressive sound like good traits that make for an interesting, artistic, and creative person-- not histrionic personality disorder-- what more do you know about this person that would lead you to believe he/she has histrionic pd?
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Unread 10-05-2007, 08:40 PM   #5
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Default Re: histrionic personality and relationships

Yes, I agree with the other posters here. You have not supplied much information regarding her character traits, and what you have posted does not strike me as histrionic. How long have you known her? It would be a shame for you to miss out on a possibly good experience because you have mistakenly applied a disorder to someone.

Perhaps you may want to read more into the subject if you still feel that she is histrionic. Wikipedia supplies an article, as does this very site.
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Unread 10-07-2007, 04:58 PM   #6
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Default Re: histrionic personality and relationships

thanks for replies as i stated i hate to see a label before a person i know lots about the label, i've just never had a relationship with someone who is hpd ,which the person is, i sense it wouldn't be dull!
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Unread 10-07-2007, 05:07 PM   #7
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Default Re: histrionic personality and relationships

Jefftele....One thing I've never done in starting new relationship is to listen to my gut instincts, and I paid the price for this big time. Whether she is truly histrionic or just a gregarious, bubbly person, you have to decide what is compatible for you!
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Unread 10-07-2007, 09:18 PM   #8
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Unread 10-08-2007, 05:14 AM   #9
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Default Re: histrionic personality and relationships

hey. i guess part of it will be about taking some time to get to know her. it might be that she flies off the handle if she isn't the centre of attention, that she flirts with people a little too much for your tastes, that she is a little too emotionally labile and dramatic and emotionally shallow for your tastes etc.

or it might be that as she is in a stable relationship she will start to work on her fears of intimacy and her fears of being worthless if she isn't the centre of attention. You could end up having a really good relationship with someone who helps you feel energetic and revitalised and really cared for.

can you figure out some of the things that you like...
and some of the things you aren't sure of?

it might be that you want to take things a little bit slower than you usually would so you get time to assess how things are likely to go over time.
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Unread 10-08-2007, 05:35 AM   #10
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Default Re: histrionic personality and relationships

thanks again folks, theres lots i love about the lady, her energy is infectious, i like the way she deals with her emotions quickly, could be argued as shallow, but so what! takes me weeks ,sometimes months to do the same! she is a beautiful person, i guess with myself being prone to depression, she is a breath of fresh air, i guess too ,that with books written on depression and relationships, i'm expecting one to be there for every other condition! love the person first!!!
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