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Unread 08-03-2007, 05:01 PM   #1
freewill
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Default sharing a therapist

Has anyone here "shared" a therapist with a family member but NOT been in therapy together..
Like mom goes to therapist, adult son goes to same therapist.

Their therapy is completely separate..

And how would you feel if it was your therapist first.. and you asked him to take on your son.. because you were worried about him..

opinions even would be appreciated...

Thank you
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Unread 08-03-2007, 05:07 PM   #2
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

personally.. that would be a bad idea i think. i would be surprised that a T would do that. i mean, they are human and they can't help but form opinions and ideas... keeping everything completely separate would be a lot to expect. i know one pdoc who won't even see people who even know each other.

the other side of it is that the two clients would also form opinions and would be at risk of having feelings toward each other end up in conflict. If the connection to the T is solid thre might even be feelings of competition or jealousy.

i don't know though... would there be a good reason why they would both see the same T?
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Unread 08-03-2007, 06:06 PM   #3
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

I couldnt do it. I just couldnt do it.
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Unread 08-03-2007, 06:09 PM   #4
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

yes, my son and I saw the same psychologist but for individual sessions and reasons.

It went fine. he liked treating family members and never ever discussed or divulged anything without first asking permission and never pressing for permission. if he got a 'no' that was okay with him.
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Unread 08-03-2007, 07:08 PM   #5
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

confused,,,, for my son I would give up my T... cause I love my son more than me...

And I want my son to have the best and this T truly is the best.. in the business.. believe me....

my son put me thru hell and back and then in hell and back this week...

Actually where he is concerned.. I am still in Hell..

Even with knock out drugs, I can't relax enough to sleep..
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Unread 08-03-2007, 07:10 PM   #6
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

I wouldn't share my T, and my T is against the idea as well. It was out of the question when my cousin and my roommate wanted to see her as a therapist, and I like it that way.
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Unread 08-03-2007, 07:28 PM   #7
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

Is difficult..

Am going to give my T to my son... he needs to have the best care.. and there is no one else that I trust with my son..

my son has seem my T once and has agreed to go into therapy with him..

It is best.. my son very much needs the help..
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Unread 08-03-2007, 07:34 PM   #8
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

My therapist does this frequently. He is a family therapist and trained in family systems therapy. Not all therapeutic approaches can accommodate seeing multiple members of the same family simultaneously. I would not attempt this with a therapist unless he was trained in this modality and thought it was a good idea for your specific family.

I saw my therapist individually for 7 months. Then we added my husband and I saw him simultaneously in couples therapy and individually. My husband was invited several times to see T individually if he needed to, but has not done this, so far. From the start of individual therapy with my T, he would mention occasionally that he sees couples and I knew without a doubt that I would never do that with him. But as I got to know T better and progressed further on my healing journey and we developed such a fantastic, trusting therapeutic relationship, I changed my mind on this and it became possible for my husband to join us. T did warn me several times of the dangers to our own relationship and therapy, and we discussed these quite a bit. But I had entered a space of profound trust for my T and felt our bond could withstand anything. Now I am done with couples therapy and everything was fine. I was never jealous of my T. Our bond was not damaged. We are closer then ever. T did tell me that getting to know my husband made him understand me so much better. Now he has a deep knowledge of the issues in our marriage that he could not get only by talking to me. T often sees multiple members of a family, including parents and their older children, both together and individually. (He does not work with really young kids.) He is a family therapist and specializes in this.

I would say you need to know yourself and whether this approach would work for you. You need to have a really strong bond with your T and not be insecure about "losing" him to your other family member that enters therapy. Your T needs to be trained and comfortable with this approach also. If these conditions do not apply, then ask your T for a referral to a good therapist who he thinks would be a good fit for your family member. My youngest daughter is in therapy and I got the referral from my T. (He doesn't see young adolescents for individual, extended therapy, and that was what she needed.)

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Am going to give my T to my son... he needs to have the best care.. and there is no one else that I trust with my son..

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Why not both see him? Is your T against it? Or are you against it? Please discuss it with your T and see if he is trained to see 2 members of the same family.
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Unread 08-03-2007, 08:51 PM   #9
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

My 1st therapist was my mother's therapist. But I started therapy with her after my mother terminated. The thing was, most of my issues at that time revolved around my mother. So my therapist understood a whole lot because she knew my mom. But in retrospect I think it was a terrible idea. I believe in the therapist having a clean slate with the patient. I would avoid sharing therapists knowing what I know now... even if it is at two completely different times.
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Unread 08-03-2007, 09:10 PM   #10
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Default Re: sharing a therapist

Well, this is interesting.

My T was my son's T 6 years ago. My son saw him for about 3 months in high school, and hasn't seen him since. When I was looking for a T--I asked my other son's T for a referral and he gave me T's name, I said, "Oh I know him....

I don't think the fact that he saw my other son affected my relationship with him, but he wasn't his T for very long. Now, my older son asked if he could see my T and I said, no that wouldn't be appropriate. He has a very good T of his own.

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