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Unread 07-24-2013, 08:31 PM   #1
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Default What does your therapist do....

If and when you cry? This may seem like a silly question, but I'm really curious. See, I'm not really a "crier" unless it's in front of the people who are closest to me. For a long time I tried to keep my T out of that "close to me zone" (a defense mechanism) I've finally accepted that she means a lot to me and I am about as comfortable as a person can be when I'm around her (except for the romantic feelings on my part, which are always there, but do not seem to get in the way of the session)I've told her how much I care about her, in the most sincere way possible. Since then, it's been easier for me to cry in front of her. I don't mean just a tear or two streaming down my cheek...full on crying.

I don't know what I expect her to do...but she just kinda sits there and looks at me. Don't get me wrong, she always has a very concerned look in her eyes, but it feels strange sometimes, sitting there crying in front of someone. I wonder if it's awkward for her as well? Or maybe her silence is her way of respecting my feelings and letting me express them without interruption?

This isn't something that's a huge deal, just something I noticed tonight and I'm interested in hearing ways other T's react.
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Last edited by LearningMe01; 07-24-2013 at 10:06 PM. Reason: Typos
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Unread 07-24-2013, 08:41 PM   #2
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I have a problem with crying in front of any t I hold it back and it can get in the way of my healing but I just learned to hold it in and trust me it's painful
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Unread 07-24-2013, 08:41 PM   #3
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Default Re: What does your therapist do....

I'm not a 'crier' either and it distresses me greatly when I do. My T just sits and stares at me which I find rather like I'm being ignored.(When I was little my mum used to ignore my crying) This causes a severe reaction in me after therapy. I am going to bring it up next session.
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Unread 07-24-2013, 08:41 PM   #4
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Default Re: What does your therapist do....

My T doesn't react when I cry. He doesn't comfort me, since providing comfort would not help me express my emotions. He empathizes with whatever emotion I have that causes my tears.

Come to think of it, though, my crying is always just tears falling. I've never sobbed in front of him. I don't know what he would do if I sobbed.
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Unread 07-24-2013, 08:54 PM   #5
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Default Re: What does your therapist do....

Yeah mine has never done anything either. Once he said....in the most concerned voice ever....it is ok MoodSwing. I did not expect it to be as comforting as it was. It feet like a warm glow starting small in my abdomen and then growing. I am not use to being consoled when crying. Usually I do it in hiding anyway.
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Unread 07-24-2013, 09:01 PM   #6
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Default Re: What does your therapist do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by critterlady View Post
My T doesn't react when I cry. He doesn't comfort me, since providing comfort would not help me express my emotions. He empathizes with whatever emotion I have that causes my tears.

Come to think of it, though, my crying is always just tears falling. I've never sobbed in front of him. I don't know what he would do if I sobbed.
That's pretty much what I was thinking. I suppose crying can be a good thing, and she's trying to let me express the way I feel. And yes, she always empathizes with the emotions also (or sympathizes with things things she doesn't understand)
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Unread 07-24-2013, 09:29 PM   #7
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Default Re: What does your therapist do....

He gives me the space to cry generally. Sometimes he will ask me to put the tears to words. That is more when the crying is pulling me into dissociation (hard to explain). I can get very "lost" in my tears and there is a fine line for me where if I go too far, it is very hard to find my way back. T is pretty attuned to seeing the difference and helps me get grounded before I am too far gone.
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Unread 07-24-2013, 09:47 PM   #8
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Default Re: What does your therapist do....

My therapist and I do online chats and sometimes phone chats. When I tell her I'm crying, she tells me a few different things:

She sometimes says she'll hold my tears, which I think is her way of embracing my pain and sharing it with me, trying to unburden me.

She sometimes tells me just to take my time and cry, that she's there with me. She wants me to feel comfortable getting out all my tears and says tears are healing (sometimes I agree, sometimes I dont)

I asked her recently if I could have a virtual hug, and was so relieved and pleased when she said she liked hugs and would send me one whenever I asked, so if I'm having a hard time, I've just started asking for a hug on occasion.

In general is very sympathetic.
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Unread 07-24-2013, 10:08 PM   #9
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Default Re: What does your therapist do....

...gives me a tissue or lots of them.
the best is that T takes them back, snot and all ...and throws them away.
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Unread 07-24-2013, 10:12 PM   #10
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Default Re: What does your therapist do....

I have never cried in front of a therapist and I don't plan on doing so. But the woman, who was once on a kick to get me to cry, used tell me she would stay back and promised not to touch me if I ever did. Of course, she has never kept a promise she has made thus far, so I would not be surprised if the supposed assurance was mere hyperbole.
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