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Unread 07-03-2013, 02:19 PM   #1
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Confused Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

I think I really just had a horrible session today which went round in circles. I don't really know what to write or what support I'm looking for on here.

I just am tired of having such childlike needs when I am an adult. Tired of just not finding that happy place.
I think my issues are trivial.
That I'm not "worthy" of being in therapy.
I just want to feel cared for
Yes, my parents weren't there for me emotionally and I now crave touch and attention
I get attached to people too quickly. And then get hurt.
I feel like I'm crying for attention in therapy and don't like coming across as that. Outside of therapy I wear my mask and I'm fine. I sometimes think I should just leave it like that
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Unread 07-03-2013, 02:21 PM   #2
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

Sorry you are going through this, Sugahorse.
You do 'deserve' therapy, i hope you are able to feel that soon. Sending you a hug ((HUG)).
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Unread 07-03-2013, 03:35 PM   #3
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sugahorse1 View Post
I think I really just had a horrible session today which went round in circles. I don't really know what to write or what support I'm looking for on here.

I just am tired of having such childlike needs when I am an adult. Tired of just not finding that happy place.

That I'm not "worthy" of being in therapy.
I just want to feel cared for
I definitely understand these points. Can you tell your therapist how you are feeling?
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Unread 07-03-2013, 04:23 PM   #4
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

You just answered your own question. You do have issues. All of those things you mentioned are good, valid reasons to be in therapy. Heck, there are studies that show even when healthy, well adjusted, pro active people attend therapy, it's beneficial to them. You know why you are in therapy, that's the first step. Therapy isn't easy or always fun. And yes, like most things in life you're gonna have roadblocks. Its important that you discuss these matters with your T, don't hold back. It's gonna help your T alot and once its out in the open, you'll have a clear view of what you're working towards. Best of luck.
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Unread 07-03-2013, 07:35 PM   #5
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sugahorse1 View Post
Outside of therapy I wear my mask and I'm fine.
"Fine" perhaps, but not happy and not cared for. You deserve more than "fine".
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Unread 07-03-2013, 11:48 PM   #6
Getting there! :-)
 
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

I did end up talking to my T about these thoughts and feelings. She said she was sad I felt this way.
That we were always getting into the real stuff and real feelings, and then I close up because I'm embarrassed
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Unread 07-04-2013, 01:49 AM   #7
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

Well done, sugahorse. Talking to T about therapy itself and the feelings around it can be really hard.
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Unread 07-04-2013, 02:58 AM   #8
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

I can totally identify with feeling embarrassed about having such childlike needs as an adult. Sometimes in therapy, well okay--often in therapy, I feel like there's a bottomless sinkhole of need at my very core. It really does suck. I hate it. My T always tries to normalize it and make it seem like a totally understandable feeling but I haven't really accepted it yet. I still hate it. I don't have any words of wisdom. It sounds like you get, in theory anyway, why you feel that way but still don't feel okay about it. I know. I'm tired of it too.
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Unread 07-04-2013, 04:58 AM   #9
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

I think society makes us believe our emotional needs are somehow less important. I have these worries too, but then I go to the osteopath for my back, and he asks if it hurts, and I just tell him if it hurts, and how much. I don't worry about whether I'm wasting his time because other people's backs hurt more. But somehow we get this message that, with our emotions, they matter less.

Everyone is worthy of being in therapy if they want to be. It really is that simple. There's no qualifying criteria, no requirement to have experienced x or y.

And if your parents weren't there for you emotionally, well, I'm not surprised you feel like your T shouldn't be either. When we are treated in a certain way, we end up feeling like it's true. If our parents treat us like we're worthless, we think it means we actually are worthless. Deep inside, you don't feel worthy of the emotional attention you didn't get, so you don't think your T should give it to you either.

That's not the truth. That's neglect talking, neglect and the wounds it leaves. It's okay to have needs and it's okay to go to therapy.
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Unread 07-04-2013, 05:10 AM   #10
Getting there! :-)
 
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Default Re: Why am I in therapy? Do I have issues?

Thanks everyone.
I needed a bit of reassurance. I don't want to be seen as crying for attention or being weak. Or finding issues that don't exist. Or maybe they do?
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