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Unread 06-23-2013, 06:56 PM   #1
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Default How not to be mad at loved one.

I'm mad. Mad at my son's mental illness. I'm mad at how he has to wear a coat in 90F weather. I'm mad that he can't find a job. I'm mad that he does nothing all day. I'm mad that his life seems so hopeless. I'm mad he's not out enjoying himself. I'm mad he's so isolated. I'm mad that my husband and I are his only social contacts. I'm mad that he smells gross and doesn't care about his appearance. I'm mad that I lost the child I used to have.
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Unread 06-24-2013, 01:48 AM   #2
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I'm mad too at my daughter's mental illness and everything it steals from her!
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Unread 06-25-2013, 05:20 PM   #3
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Default Re: How not to be mad at loved one.

I am mad at my son. He wouldn't take his meds. He had alienated himself from everyone. His father physically abused me and he had his father's temper and it made me mad that I had no peace in my own home. I'm mad that I could no longer allow him to live with me. I was scared of him. He was 32....not working...not contributing to household. I'm mad that his father, who he chose to live with, physically abused him, emotionally abused him and taught him no basic life skills. I'm mad at him for killing himself on Feb. 5, 2013. I wonder when the anger will ebb and the true grief come in.
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Unread 07-19-2013, 01:41 AM   #4
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I am so sorry for your loss, Muppy! I can't imagine what you've been through.
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Unread 07-21-2013, 12:11 PM   #5
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I'm so sorry!!! I hope you can come to forgive and not be angry, it happens more than we'll know, my sister committed suicide in 1987, she was 16 yrs old, i know your pain!!
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Unread 07-25-2013, 04:50 PM   #6
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Default Re: How not to be mad at loved one.

This thread made me quite sad... but I get it.

I don't get mad at my mom or dad because they need me. I get mad that illness happens. I am mad that my brother had to suffer until his death because doctors gave up on him. I'm mad that people break downs someones self worth and quality of life by their looks and how they present themselves.

I'm mad that my dad maybe have five years left. That makes me mad.
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Unread 07-27-2013, 11:04 PM   #7
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The thing that bothers me is there is help out there, yet he refuses to get it.

My oldest son has gotten so much help. I am a living success story myself. I get the help to I need to make it in life.

But I know we can't force someone to get help or want help.
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Unread 08-04-2013, 05:40 PM   #8
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Default Re: How not to be mad at loved one.

liveforfish: You have a right - and a duty - to impose some requirements on your son. Start with basic hygiene. It would be totally appropriate to expect him to shower daily, or twice weekly, at the least. Now - how do you make it stick. Well, you have to have consequences. There will be risk involved. That's how life is. Utimately, you have to be willing to turn him out of your house, if he will not get washed regularly. That probably sounds very harsh, even unthinkable, to you. Get professional advice. Start by discussing this with his doctor.

I'm not sure if you were looking for advice. I apologize if this you were not. I do strongly believe that your home situation can be improved.
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Unread 08-18-2013, 10:21 PM   #9
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I'm mad my son can't control himself, that he destroys himself, that he spent most of his young life in programs, jails and institutions, that the bright boy with promise is being snuffed out.
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Unread 08-22-2013, 07:50 AM   #10
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Default Re: How not to be mad at loved one.

such hard things to endure, to go thru, to know and feel~ words fail~

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