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Unread 11-06-2004, 07:25 PM   #1
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Default Putting people on a pedestal:(

I think that putting someone on a pedestal hurts that person, and that it is unhealthy behaviour. Any comments or views?

An opinionated Fuzzy
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Unread 11-06-2004, 08:02 PM   #2
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal?????!!!!!??????

WOW Fuzzybear what a profound statement!

If you differentiate between putting someone on a pedestal, and showing them regard, respect and acceptance for their position is life, then YES I agree!

People are human (DUH!) and therefore, imperfect. Placing someone up above the rest only gives them farther to fall. It places stress upon them to be perfect, to succeed (assuming they know they've been placed there...) AND it shatters the person's confidence (of who put them there) when the other falls.
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Unread 11-06-2004, 08:04 PM   #3
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal?????!!!!!??????

What does it mean to "put someone on a pedestal'?

I know one woman whose husband is a union organizer, and she deeply committed to social justice. So he is her hero.

If partners in every marriage put each other on a pedestal, and treated them with the utmost respect and care, wouldn't that be a good thing?

Until I'm clear about what is meant by this expression, I don't think I can answer.
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Unread 11-06-2004, 10:48 PM   #4
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal?????!!!!!??????

I'm with Sky on this one. I think if it is a respect issue, pedestals aren't so bad. There are people who earn a place on a pedestal and aren't "put" there by anyone, they are just there because of the way they relate to others and the way they live their lives. Even if a person is on a pedestal, we have to remember that they are just a person so if they fall off, we need to still respect them.
If that makes sense.
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Unread 11-07-2004, 02:13 AM   #5
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal:(

Thanks for your replies everyone. btw I only edited the title.

I will have to think about this one some more, but I agree with ozzie

Bearhugs,
Fuzzy
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Unread 11-07-2004, 02:43 AM   #6
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal:(

I can't resist...

"I don't wanna be your idol, see this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights..." (Alanis) lol!

I think that putting someone on a pedestal represents not seeing them for who they are. And if you think about it, up on a pedestal not only are you not knowing them for who they really are, but you are distancing yourself from them. That is symbolic to me.

Yes, I think it can hurt them. Nothing wrong with thinking someone is spectacular, but you have to be careful not to expect a standard that nobody can live up to- and not to expect that this person could never hurt you.

(((((hugs for the bear)))))

Angela
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Unread 11-07-2004, 05:01 AM   #7
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal:(

When I think of people being put on a pedestal, I ALWAYS think of Princess Diana. I bet you're like 'What the....!?!' but when you look at it the whole world grovelled at her feet and believed that she was truly the greatest humanitarian the world had ever seen.

Now if you remember when she died there was EXCESSIVE news coverage. I remember her funeral was the only event on tv to be publicly broadcasted on EVERY tv station at the one time here in Australia. Everyone was so sad that she had died, even those who never knew her personally. To the world, at this time she seemed to be the finest lady ever.

2 weeks after she died Mother Theresa died. Was there coverage of the circumstances of her death? No. Was there coverage of her funeral? No. A great many people were saddened that this amazing woman had died but it seemed that the world couldn't care because she wasn't on the same level as Princess Di.

Some could debate that point but it just makes me so enraged to her it when Princess Diana is put on the same pedestal as Mother Theresa. Mother Theresa took a pledge to poverty and dedicating ever resource she ever came across to helping the poor and forgotten. Princess Di married into one of the wealthiest families in the world and had too much cash to splash. So she gave some away to a few charities and visited some places where her money would be put to use but always returned to her 5 star hotels and palaces.

This is where the whole pedestal thing is wrong. The world was too eager to put Princess Diana up on a pedestal that they ignored one of the most inspiring and compassionate women of our time. Princess Diana did not compare to her greatness but there would be many in the Western World who would disagree.

I couldn't agree more that the whole pedestal thing is damaging. The pedestals should only be reserved for those who are great AND very modest.
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Unread 11-07-2004, 05:07 AM   #8
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal:(

Peter,

I think you could stand to learn a little more about Princess Di's real life. I'm not going to call her a hero or anything, but I am going to say that having wealth and "glamour" and fame does NOT bring happiness.

Princess Di lived with an immense load of pain that she had to hold within herself. She lived as an "icon" to the world and felt the pressure to present a smiling face regardless of her own struggles. For instance, she found out ON HER WEDDING NIGHT that her husband was unfaithful to her. She had many self-esteem issues and a LOT of pain that she felt unable to share with anyone BECAUSE of the pedestal she was on. She did her public duty and presented the beautiful face of an ever-smiling Princess: with all the glamour that you have described. At home, she cut herself and even threw herself down a flight of stairs once as a way of coping with her pain. Her ever-so-wonderful husband, who provided her with all the "finer things" in life felt that her self-injury was nothing more than being melodramatic and he invalidated her feelings.

Princess Di paid a price for the "pedestal" she was on. Her "pedestal" was her prison.

Yes, she had money and fame and beauty. But sometimes things are not what they seem.

Angela
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Unread 11-07-2004, 05:11 AM   #9
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal:(

Hi Fuzzybear,

As a philosophy graduate, how could I resist this one?

To 'put someone on a pedestal' is to ascribe certain desirable qualities to that person that they may or may not have. For instance, many of the German people put Adolph Hitler on a pedestal (a position that he obviously wanted) ascribing the quality of ' saviour of the people' to him.

Well, he didn't have the diplomacy or maturity to fulfil the promise and we all know what happened. He wasn't exactly a saviour of the German people.

This is different from seeing qualities of goodness in a person and respecting them for that. When we respect someone genuinely, it is for qualities that we see that they have and not for qualities that we want or need them to have. In genuine respect there is no requirement for anything from that person.

In my view, it is particularly risky for parents to put their children on pedestals, due to the resulting emotional stresses that some of us know only too well.

I hope my historical reference isn't too controvertial for the board, if it is I apologise in advance.

Cheers, Myzen.
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Unread 11-07-2004, 06:08 AM   #10
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Default Re: Putting people on a pedestal:(

Hey Sweet,
Yeh, I'm well aware of how Princess Di handled her life...which wasn't very well but I'm not criticising her for her success in the public eye. It is society that makes me mad. I just can't understand how they can justify a comparison between a rich woman whose troubled personal life was publicised to a woman who worked her entire life to personally save thousands of lives, many of them children.

Her pedestal was her nightmare, that's so true, but that's because she didn't deserve it.
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