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Unread 05-30-2013, 02:25 AM   #1
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Trig My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

I am very emotional, I just found out this morning my father committed suicide. From what the corner says, it wasnt planned it just happened, he had no"regular" signs that they look for, I am confused, he was a happy go lucky fella, good man, an never left a mote, just pulled out the gun and did it, my uncle found him, dead this morning, it makes no sense to no one, we dont know what he did it for, but he did it for some reason, maybe i would feel better if i knew why, but we dont, Im at a loss for word, cant stop crying, I keep vomiting and my anxiety and ptsd is in full gear, what emotions can you expect with this? How do you comfort your siblings when he didnt tell us why, how do you find closer when you dont know wtf he was going through, Im very upset, I have to go through his stuff and legalities of everything, Im worried about my brother he is jail but on the pathway to recovery, what if i telll him and he backslides, how do I tell my children, do i tell them the truth or a lie, very upset feel sad idk what to do
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Unread 05-30-2013, 03:02 AM   #2
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

I am so sorry for your loss, honeybee.
You ask how to comfort your siblings- i am not sure of the answer, but please don't forget to comfort and take care of yourself too. Do you have someone who can sit down with your family alongside you to help tell them?
It sounds like a lot of the responsibility for your family/your dads estate/paper work has been left to you, do you have anyone who can help you with this?

Sending you huge hugs (as long as that's ok with you).
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Unread 05-30-2013, 03:40 AM   #3
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

I am so sorry, kind of at a loss for words...do you see a therapist? If not, like Healing Times was saying, you have to take care of yourself as well...do you have any support in other family and/or friends? Or can you find a therapist or counselor to talk to about this if you don't already have one?
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Unread 05-30-2013, 04:51 AM   #4
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

Sorry for your loss, honeybee. *huggles*
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Unread 05-30-2013, 05:00 AM   #5
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

(((Honeybee)))
's
I am so sorry for your loss, and for what position you are in. and for the confusion.

I am not sure if this would be helpful or not but
The jail that your brother is in, is there any one to talk to, to ask if a visit could be arranged that would be more personal with you and him? He is on his way to recovery, is there a person that he has mentioned/some what "mentor" of the staff that has helped him out? that maybe you could talk to?
Some staff in prisons are nice.

I agree to take care of you as well

many hugs and good thoughts your way
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Unread 05-30-2013, 06:04 AM   #6
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

Oh honeybee I'm so very sorry. (((((((honeybee)))))))
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Unread 05-30-2013, 06:34 AM   #7
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

awww honeybee i am terribly sorry for your loss!! (((((honeybee)))))
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Unread 05-30-2013, 07:19 AM   #8
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

Oh honeybee, I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I will light a candle for you.
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Unread 05-30-2013, 07:25 AM   #9
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

You are starting a long road, I am so sorry. This is really not the time for stats but apparently most studies show that the time from decision to action is often extremely short. I lost my brother this way. Wish I could reach out and hold you, grieve out loud, tell the truth. Just keep it simple and compassionate, answer any questions asked as best you can without going overboard. It is ok to tell the kids that sometimes people become very hopeless and sad, that it can happen quickly sometimes, that this is a good reason to talk to someone if you feel bad, and to take it seriously when someone else is feeling down, that your dad was not thinking rationally (no one who kills themselves is in the moment--barring end of life decisions), he wasn't meaning to hurt others...)--and that you don't know why it happened. After you tell your brother, you may want to ask them to keep a watch on him for a bit; being jailed would make a person feel that much more helpless and angry/intense since they cannot "do" anything----no one can, but trapped is a bad feeling. All you can all do is be there for each other, talk talk talk---repetition is okay and necessary; be sure you have the support you need---let us know how you are doing right along...
This is so raw...later, you might want to talk to others in a group setting who have been through this (or not). Do what works for you, but do keep it honest. There will be anger, grief, pity, whatifs, ---no closure, just change over time.
My heart goes out to all this pains.
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Unread 05-30-2013, 01:25 PM   #10
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Default Re: My father committed suicide today I dont know what to do

I am very sorry, Do take extra care of yourself
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