Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > Mental Health Support > Depression



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 09-09-2013, 07:13 AM   #1
Member
 
DownfallOfUsAll's Avatar
DownfallOfUsAll has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Somewhere.
Posts: 101
My Mood:

3 yr Member
8 hugs
given
Default Thought having a job would make me feel better..

Hello again I'm back with another long rant :/

Last time I wrote on here I was talking about my fustration about trying to find a job but now I've got one I wish I didn't.

After 2 years of trying to find my first job I finally found one at the beginning of May. I was so happy because I'd be trying hard for so long and I could finally start getting where I wanted to be. The job is being a carer for elderly people. I have to go to their houses and look after them. The job itself is fine, I don't actually mind all the personal care so much and making the eldery people happy makes me feel a little better. Its just everything else. The company itself isn't that great to be honest.

Basically I wake up at 5:00am most days and leave my house at between 6:00 - 6:30 to start at 7:00am.Then my last shift usually finishes at 9:00pm and I get home around 9:30pm. I then eat and then try to go to bed by 11pm. I do this 5 days a week Wednesday - Sunday. It's a horribly long day. I get breaks of course and most days I can come home twice a day and I can rest maybe even nap for 30 minutes even before I go to someone else's house. It's still incredibly exhausting to the point where I just want to breakdown and cry.

I have to go to multiple houses a day. Sometimes by myself and sometimes with another person. I spend more of day on buses travelling then actually working and I only get paid once I'm at someones house. Even though my day is so long I'm only getting paid for 4 - 5 hours of work. I'm not sure it's even worth it..

Theres so many other things I could go on about like the fact that they call up last minute and change my shifts so much. The fact that I'm always nearly falling asleep on buses because I'm so tired or the fact that sometimes I have to work on my days off even though I'm already exhausted enough. I'm too much of a pushover too and I'm too shy to say no most of the time.

I know this is all part of the job but it's just too hard for me. I'm so sad all the time and I feel so lonely (even though I spend most of my day aroudn people) and suicidal sometimes. All I do is work, sleep and eat and it's driving me crazy. Even on my 2 days off I'm just too tired and unmotivated to do anything.

I want to quit so badly but I need the money and I'll just go back to mopping at home and sleeping all day if I have nothing to do.

Also before I started work I was eating healthily and exercising daily but now I've gone right back to eating unhealthily and scoffing tons of rubbish at a time. The only exercise I do is walking all day for my job but I've still managed to gained half of the weight I worked so hard on losing and I feel like a faliure. I want to join the gym so badly but with a job like this it would be impossible to go very often and I'd waste my money and I'm bored of home workouts now.

I feel more trapped than ever. Life feels so pointless, I've got nothing to look forward to or keep me going right now. I've got nobody to talk to about this as well. My mum knows I'm unhappy but I guess she doesn't really know the extent of it and she wouldn't talk to me about this. She just not that type of person. I'm so tired of feeling like this. My shyness is still stopping me from talking to anyone about it though. Even after all these years later and even though it's getting worse. I just don't know anymore
DownfallOfUsAll is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-09-2013, 08:06 AM   #2
Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
gayleggg's Avatar
gayleggg My sanity is slipping.
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,365 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

3,702 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Thought having a job would make me feel better..

That certainly does sound like a hard schedule. It's no wonder you are tired and confused. You could continue to look for another job while continuing to work this one. Try to get back to eating better and try not to eat due to emotional triggers. I would suggest counseling but don't know when you would fit it in. Keep posting so you want feel so alone. good luck to you.
__________________


Dx: Bipolar II

Meds:
Clonazepam (Klonopin) .5 mg 3X daily
Gabapentin (Neurontin)300mg 3X daily
Fluoxetine 60mg
Ambien 10mg
plus several heart related
Coumadin
gayleggg is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 09-09-2013, 08:41 AM   #3
Magnate
 
allme's Avatar
allme is wanting to feel like a good person
 
Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: England
Posts: 2,706
My Mood:

3 yr Member
981 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Thought having a job would make me feel better..

Wow too much! Could you possibly set limitations about working so late and on days off? Don't burn yourself out
__________________
’’In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away’’

allme is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 09-09-2013, 11:24 AM   #4
Member
 
Lost in this world's Avatar
Lost in this world My Compass seems to be broken
 
Member Since: Aug 2013
Posts: 80
My Mood:

3 hugs
given
Default

I kinda feel that way too. I thought a year ago that I was just depressed because I didn't have a job. But now that I have one I am still depressed but keep up the work and don't be afraid to say no. Get lots of sleep and eat healthy. Find a job at a facility instead of going to people's homes its a lot better. I am also a nurse aid and understand. Look on Craigslist they have a lot of job postings in this field!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
__________________
I will find a way
Lost in this world is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Unread 09-09-2013, 03:34 PM   #5
Grand Magnate
 
seekersinking's Avatar
seekersinking is feeling rejected.
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Location: Limbic City
Posts: 3,129 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

987 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Thought having a job would make me feel better..

I can really relate to how you feel. I love working, but I hate going to work. Make sense? I love to accomplish good things. But, putting up with all the @#$%^ in the workplace is more awful than I can tell you. I am currently unemployed. But, I ask myself just how bad will my next job be?
seekersinking is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Unread 09-10-2013, 10:54 AM   #6
Member
 
DownfallOfUsAll's Avatar
DownfallOfUsAll has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Somewhere.
Posts: 101
My Mood:

3 yr Member
8 hugs
given
Default Re: Thought having a job would make me feel better..

Quote:
Originally Posted by allme View Post
Wow too much! Could you possibly set limitations about working so late and on days off? Don't burn yourself out
Hm maybe... I do have mondays and Tuesdays off usually. I like the number of hours I'm doing it's just the fact that it's spread out so much through the day.. :/
DownfallOfUsAll is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Unread 09-10-2013, 10:57 AM   #7
Member
 
DownfallOfUsAll's Avatar
DownfallOfUsAll has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Somewhere.
Posts: 101
My Mood:

3 yr Member
8 hugs
given
Default Re: Thought having a job would make me feel better..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost in this world View Post
I kinda feel that way too. I thought a year ago that I was just depressed because I didn't have a job. But now that I have one I am still depressed but keep up the work and don't be afraid to say no. Get lots of sleep and eat healthy. Find a job at a facility instead of going to people's homes its a lot better. I am also a nurse aid and understand. Look on Craigslist they have a lot of job postings in this field!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
Ah yeah thats what I wanted to do! Going to peoples homes is too hard. Thanks
DownfallOfUsAll is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Unread 09-10-2013, 12:26 PM   #8
Grand Poohbah
 
H3rmit's Avatar
H3rmit keeps trying.
 
Member Since: Feb 2013
Location: western hemisphere, northern hemisphere
Posts: 1,622 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

1,253 hugs
given
Default Re: Thought having a job would make me feel better..

The fact that you have any job in the field will help you get a better one. Find the working conditions that work for you, and please take care of yourself.
H3rmit is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Unread 09-11-2013, 01:53 PM   #9
Member
 
fight&win's Avatar
fight&win is getting scolded a lot these days.
 
Member Since: Jul 2013
Posts: 22
My Mood:

1 hugs
given
Default Re: Thought having a job would make me feel better..

You are atleast having some job, and are keeping yourself busy. I am scared to go work elsewhere because I know I will not be able to complete tasks on time and probably will be insulted & booted. So I am trying to start my own business and even that I am finding it hard because I am not able to work continuously and concentrate on one task only. Very fickle mind right now!

All the best to you. But keep working so that you dont let your mind brood unnecessarily.
__________________
Moving Forward, Sustaining Through-V
fight&win is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

« OK | 2 Weeks »
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:22 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO

advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity Guidelines Help

Helplines and Lifelines
eTrust Pro Certified