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Unread 07-04-2013, 01:40 PM   #1
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Default My depression

Dear friends, I want to tell you my story. Can anyone help, or give ground for thinking. Three years ago my grandparents died . This was a very strong blow for me. The first time I had a panic attack, a few days after their death. I thought about death , that someday I will remain one without my loved ones, and then die. My body is bound terrible fear , me as if paralyzed, I wanted to scream, but couldn't; my heart was beating very fast, I felt like choking. It was horrible, I didn't understand what was happening. Since that day I realized that I was not like others. I am not cheerful, I lost all of life's purpose, I suffered from insomnia, panic attacks have become permanent. The following six months, I did not go out of the house, I was so afraid to be surrounded by people , the world became muddy . At the same time I started anorexia. I can't even count how many times I wanted to commit suicide. I lost all my friends, my parents did not understand me. I lost my job, respect of colleagues and loved ones. Everybody thought I was crazy. I wanted nothing. I could sleep for 16 hours in a row, or didn't get out of bed for several days. I felt a deep loneliness, the meaninglessness of its existence , and it is getting worse. I was constantly crying, and when no more strength to cry, I became unconscious or asleep. One day a former classmate wrote to me, he wants to walk with me. I replied that I didn't come home for half a year already, and it's a bad idea. On the same day he came home with me that was a complete surprise. He brought me canvases , paints and brushes. He Said that creativity will help me. So I began to draw. While I draw, he played guitar funny and good songs. He prepared me food and led a walk in the yard with me. After a couple of months, I realized I felt a little easier. I felt his love, I realized I wasn't alone. Guys, creativity really helps with depression, that's for sure! It is very important to feel the support and understanding, I am very lucky! Let it be one person, but this was enough for me. After half a year he bought me a dog, now I felt responsible for it, and in what would be a terrible moral condition I was, I had to care for my dog, feed, walk with my pet. The dog is great. They so much negative energy take, literally pushed out of the depression. My boyfriend videographer, now he is shooting a film, which can help people with depression. This film he dedicated to me. Dear friends, I still suffer from panic attacks and depression, but I feel much better. Each of us need a man who will and will understand you. Who will help , support, motivate something. This is very important. This is important as the air we breathe , as the water that we drink. I pray for each of you here, I am waiting for your letters, I am willing to help than I can. The main thing - do not lose hope in a better, without faith and hope we are dead!
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Unread 07-04-2013, 11:08 PM   #2
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Default Re: My depression

I congratulate you on your wonderful experience. It is actually rather rare to have someone sweep into your life and support you as you get better. You are quite fortunate . Friends can be as powerful as lovers. Love is love regardless of the source. You see this in the dog you have adopted. For some people even friendship is hard to find and not everyone has a supportive family. For some this forum is the support group and I think it is very powerful. There is no pettiness or comparisons. Only kindness.
Creativity is a great release. It can be accessed from many different sources-- journaling is accessible even for those who aren't naturally artistic.
Thank you for sharing your story. Every success is heartening and gives hope.
I look forward to hearing from you as you continue your journey.
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Unread 07-05-2013, 01:12 AM   #3
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Thanks for sharing and it's so cool that you've had a companion who gently helps you out of your miseries. I agree, this is all too rare and wish this could happen for me. But I seem to have only struggling unhappy people in my life, not able to give much of themselves. I want to give of MYself and do so when able, but this year has been very rough so far. Anyway thanks again and may you continue to find wellness and peace.
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Unread 07-05-2013, 07:57 AM   #4
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Its awesome you had a particular individual to help you out. That would be great if there were more people like that around! For me, it wasnt only one individual to help bring my feet back underneath me where they belong. I may still have a way to go to get there, but without helpful and caring people, I wouldnt be near as far as I have managed to get. Yahoo! for good people like those we meet here at PC and others we meet IRL!
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Unread 07-05-2013, 08:08 AM   #5
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I think that the cause of depression is a lack of love and understanding! And treated it just this!
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Unread 07-05-2013, 08:30 AM   #6
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Default Re: My depression

Ive often thought that also. I think there are exceptions to every rule but I believe a more loving environment in my case would have definitely prevented a lot of my depression.

My equation is probably similar to yours. The discomfort we feel is proportionate to the love we're missing. Its not only love coming in, but, also going out, that makes us feel empty or full.
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Unread 07-05-2013, 08:58 AM   #7
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Creativity is a wonderful outlet! And a pet to attend to, can and does wonders for the soul. And I feel it's wonderful that your friend turned out to be there for you and you've found love during your toughest moments. Thanks for sharing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AV747 View Post
Dear friends, I want to tell you my story. Can anyone help, or give ground for thinking. Three years ago my grandparents died . This was a very strong blow for me. The first time I had a panic attack, a few days after their death. I thought about death , that someday I will remain one without my loved ones, and then die. My body is bound terrible fear , me as if paralyzed, I wanted to scream, but couldn't; my heart was beating very fast, I felt like choking. It was horrible, I didn't understand what was happening. Since that day I realized that I was not like others. I am not cheerful, I lost all of life's purpose, I suffered from insomnia, panic attacks have become permanent. The following six months, I did not go out of the house, I was so afraid to be surrounded by people , the world became muddy . At the same time I started anorexia. I can't even count how many times I wanted to commit suicide. I lost all my friends, my parents did not understand me. I lost my job, respect of colleagues and loved ones. Everybody thought I was crazy. I wanted nothing. I could sleep for 16 hours in a row, or didn't get out of bed for several days. I felt a deep loneliness, the meaninglessness of its existence , and it is getting worse. I was constantly crying, and when no more strength to cry, I became unconscious or asleep. One day a former classmate wrote to me, he wants to walk with me. I replied that I didn't come home for half a year already, and it's a bad idea. On the same day he came home with me that was a complete surprise. He brought me canvases , paints and brushes. He Said that creativity will help me. So I began to draw. While I draw, he played guitar funny and good songs. He prepared me food and led a walk in the yard with me. After a couple of months, I realized I felt a little easier. I felt his love, I realized I wasn't alone. Guys, creativity really helps with depression, that's for sure! It is very important to feel the support and understanding, I am very lucky! Let it be one person, but this was enough for me. After half a year he bought me a dog, now I felt responsible for it, and in what would be a terrible moral condition I was, I had to care for my dog, feed, walk with my pet. The dog is great. They so much negative energy take, literally pushed out of the depression. My boyfriend videographer, now he is shooting a film, which can help people with depression. This film he dedicated to me. Dear friends, I still suffer from panic attacks and depression, but I feel much better. Each of us need a man who will and will understand you. Who will help , support, motivate something. This is very important. This is important as the air we breathe , as the water that we drink. I pray for each of you here, I am waiting for your letters, I am willing to help than I can. The main thing - do not lose hope in a better, without faith and hope we are dead!
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