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Unread 07-04-2013, 01:15 PM   #1
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Trig Happy death

I always feel a little happier when I think of dying. It will make me smile sometimes. I imagine my death and my soul seems to lift. I often draw pictures of me dying. It's becoming a disturbing habit.

Last edited by FooZe; 07-04-2013 at 07:47 PM. Reason: added trigger icon
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Unread 07-04-2013, 03:36 PM   #2
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Default Re: Happy death

I imagine my death a lot (plot it even). Lately I've taken to contemplating ECT in hopes that it fries my brain so bad there is no coming back... I know it wouldn't, but the fantasy is there... ((hugs)) sorry you are having such a rough time now too,
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Unread 07-04-2013, 03:49 PM   #3
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Default Re: Happy death

Me too it makes me smile knowing one day all this will end. Sometimes I wish I would go to sleep and not wake up but with my luck my death will probably long slow and painful
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Unread 07-04-2013, 04:23 PM   #4
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Default Re: Happy death

I hope I know it's coming. Even if only for an instant. The pain is temporary. Death is forever. I'd like to know what my last thoughts would be if I know it's coming.

Dying in my sleep makes me scared.

I'd like to drag this miserable life out as long as it can.
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Unread 07-04-2013, 05:03 PM   #5
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Default Re: Happy death

There are nights when just getting to sleep that I think about floating up because I had passed away. It's like I'm just above my place, and then go further up to see the whole city, and then the whole earth. Like floating up in a balloon. Though I can't picture where I'd end up after that. That part is hard to put into my mind. It's a nice peaceful feeling.

I wonder what would it be like if I were to pass away in the middle of the night. Would I wake up and then gasp for my life? Would I really know that I had died when I was fully asleep?

Just like what Frank had said, with my luck I'll probably just get laid up in a dreary hospital in pain and torture for a good while before I'd go. I certainly hope not!
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Unread 07-04-2013, 08:45 PM   #6
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Default Re: Happy death

That is about the only thing that calms me. Whether naturally or by ...other causes... it is the one guaranteed way out of this dark hole I live in.
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Unread 07-04-2013, 10:51 PM   #7
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Default Re: Happy death

So , I am not alone . When distress reaches such a level that my mind can't take it anymore , it start getting numb . I feel like sinking and thought to not being here tomorrow gives me some peace .
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Unread 07-05-2013, 01:16 AM   #8
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Default Re: Happy death

This is an interesting but scary thread. Wanting to die only comes when the vice seems to squeeze my brain so hard that the pain will not let up, but those times have been coming too often lately. There is no joy or sense of relief in wanting to die or imagining my death, mostly because I live with a family member who would find me and I cannot, will not, cause that trauma for a loved one. It is not much but has kept me alive so far.
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Unread 07-05-2013, 12:05 PM   #9
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Default Re: Happy death

Real bumper sticker..." I was dead once. I didn't like it." ArmyGirl, I was dead once. I didn't like it. I won't go into the details. It was very traumatic. There are more consequences to suicide (botched or successful) than one can ever imagine.

I still have suicide ideation, but I don't indulge myself. I work hard moving away from those thoughts. I am now of the opinion that people really don't want to die, they just want their seemingly unrelenting pain to end.

I may not be happy. My life is not fun. But, my being here has made a difference in ways I could not predict. And so, here's to carrying on...counting my blessings and not my fears...treasuring those few moments in time that life does not feel like a burden.

Right now, there is a gentle breeze coming in through an open window. It "feels" good. Look to the small things for comfort. They will not disappoint.
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Unread 07-05-2013, 12:39 PM   #10
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Default Re: Happy death

... Sorry you're having a hard time too ...
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