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Unread 08-21-2006, 09:22 AM   #1
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Default Helping a depressed ex-girlfriend

Hi all,

I have just joined this forum as I very much want to help someone who is in trouble. Hopefully I can also be of help if someone needs a listening ear (or rather, encouraging words).

I broke up with girlfriend 1 month ago after 1.5 years of a pretty good relationship. Recently however, I had noticed I had lost interest (not in love anymore) and that I was not treating her right as a result. I also noticed that she was becoming very dependent on me, and that she was seeing less and less of her friends. So I told her that I wanted to break up.

She was initially upset, but now this has evolved into what seems to be full on depression. Although I try to keep our communications limited, she texts me often and tells me that she's taken up heavy drinking, smoking. She doesn't see any point in life and keeps reminding me that in all he relationships, she has always been dumped. She attempted suicide recently according to her mother. Sometimes she has gone missing for days from her house. She won't talk to her friends nor to her family about our breakup.

I want to help her because I care for her (although not in the same way as before), but on the other hand I am concerned that she will take it for granted that I will always be here for her - and that's not the case anymore.

Perhaps some people here have experience about such a situation?

I would be very grateful for some tips or idead if you have any - that would be very much appreciated.

Thanks!
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Unread 08-21-2006, 10:06 AM   #2
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Default Re: Helping a depressed ex-girlfriend

The only thing I can think of is to try and communicate your concerns with someone in her family so they can encourage her to seek help.
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Unread 08-21-2006, 10:14 AM   #3
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Default Re: Helping a depressed ex-girlfriend

Yeah I have to agree with Frozen on this one...... YOU maybe not be the best one to help her right now, get another good friend or family member involved.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))
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Unread 08-21-2006, 10:52 AM   #4
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Default Re: Helping a depressed ex-girlfriend

Dear Frozen and Rhapsody,

Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions. This is useful, and you are right, her family will hopefully be in a better position to help. Now if my ex would only listen to them. She is down this well that is soooo deep...
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Unread 08-21-2006, 11:01 AM   #5
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Default Re: Helping a depressed ex-girlfriend

Just wanted to reply again and say..... many of us here on PC have been down this path before and in it DEEP - - it was the help & support of a loving family member or a loyal friend that made the difference.
Hang in there and get her the help she needs from another and she will make it - it may take a while, but she will get there - I Promise!!


LoVe,
Rhapsody -
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Unread 08-21-2006, 11:09 AM   #6
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Default Re: Helping a depressed ex-girlfriend


Ok Rhapsody, I sincerely appreciate this.

It pains me to see her like this, and I feel terrible that I am the cause of it all.
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Unread 08-21-2006, 08:42 PM   #7
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Default Re: Helping a depressed ex-girlfriend

I also agree that her family needs to get her help...Try to get them to do that if you can...however, you cannot help her now...she will just keep leaning on you if you do...and that wouldn't be good for either of you...
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