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Unread 03-30-2013, 09:33 AM   #1
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Question would you still love me even if i cant love you in return?

would you still love me even if i cant love you in return? i have no love in me and i dont know how to give, would you still love me?
maybe if people love me i wouldnt hate myself so badly , would i not hate myself if people love me?
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Unread 03-30-2013, 10:11 AM   #2
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Default Re: would you still love me even if i cant love you in return?

I think love is supposed to be unconditional, so there should be no requirements. So, to answer your question "Yes". You can be loved without returning/showing the same feelings.

I have been plagued by similar thoughts. I don't know how to show love or any tough emotions very well. I try to Do things to show my love for people.

I'm sure people love you
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Unread 03-30-2013, 10:18 AM   #3
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Default Re: would you still love me even if i cant love you in return?

((((((( Puffyprue! )))))))
Quote:
Originally Posted by Puffyprue View Post
...would i not hate myself if people love me?
As much as I would like to say that you definitely would stop hating yourself if people around you were to express their love for you, my observation is that depression and self-hatred have lives of their own. They are extremely resistant to external affirmations.

It may be best to fight self-hatred indirectly. The more your mind is involved in anything that is not yourself, the less fuel is available for self-hatred to burn.

Whenever I see the name "Puffyprue" on a post or message, I know there's something special in that message, and I know there's someone wonderful behind the message...
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Unread 03-30-2013, 10:21 AM   #4
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Default Re: would you still love me even if i cant love you in return?

Do you think depression is kind of like having a car battery thats dead?

Yes, to me, you, are still loveable from what I know of you so far. Id like to say I can love everyone, and thats a lot of people, but truthfully, I have a difficult time loving some.

Our emotions when we get depressed go flat at times. At other times their non existent, or angry or sad, but rarely in much of a good mood. Love was one of those confusing emotions for me. Wanting it, feeling it, losing it, trying to find it, was my relationship with love.

I desperately needed someone to show me love. It was like jump starting that dead battery in the car. Once I felt loved, I could appreciate love and I had just a tiny ounce of it in me and not to be poetic but its kind of like growing a seedling, just add a little everyday, keep the bugs off it, and let it have sunshine. It grows. The more you give, the more you receive but the unfair thing is that being loving doesnt guarantee happiness. Life always has its ups and downs. Loving just makes us appreciate our time here a bit more I think.

My current relationship with love feels pretty good. My battery feels recharged and I can give more love than I receive most of the time. That keeps the love bank operating because with love, each withdrawal returns more than 100%. Its hard when we're depressed to get it it functioning though.

Yes, you specifically I would still love Puffy, unless you're secretly a diabolical plot artist bent on destroying humanity. Then I'd have to reach a little further to love you but I could at least have compassion about your suffering and want to help you not feel worthless.
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Unread 03-30-2013, 11:25 AM   #5
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Default Re: would you still love me even if i cant love you in return?

Hi Puffyprue,

I know well the feeling of not having anything to give. I'm sure many of us on this forum do. But you are so lovable, and deserve love. Everyone does! Simple logic for you to check out - is there anyone that you love, "no matter what?" a person, pet, anyone? IT applies to you too! Love is wanting someone to be happy. Not worried about getting anything in return. Pure and simple.

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Unread 03-30-2013, 11:44 AM   #6
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Default Re: would you still love me even if i cant love you in return?

I think we have to love ourselves before we are capable of loving another so, no, just because I loved you I don't think that would necessarily make you hate yourself less, my loving you would be about me. You need to get to know yourself better, the good and bad; no one is one-dimensional, it's not that easy unfortunately.
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Unread 03-30-2013, 01:17 PM   #7
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Default Re: would you still love me even if i cant love you in return?

Agree with Pern, although the other posts were extraordinarily generous and kind
and even evidence of proper respect for their capacity to love. Pern recognizes
that, unless we are capable of loving ourselves, it's really not possible to love others.

I suspect that what occurs in situations like that is that one has to present an
outer shell of love (which is false) and then that drives the self-hatred more.
I would do as Pern suggests, learn to love yourself so much that you are capable
of extending it to others.

I would imagine that there are very lonely and depressed states that accompany the
need to have an outer shell, however. Best idea is to work at getting rid of the self-hatred and learning what real love is all about. (It's the willingness to extend oneself for the benefit of others, for one thing.)

Take care.
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Unread 03-30-2013, 03:31 PM   #8
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Default Re: would you still love me even if i cant love you in return?

Yes but I believe you do have love in you
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