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Unread 03-30-2013, 06:34 AM   #1
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I don't have many friends. It's been like this for a very long time. I have a couple of 'good' friends and that's all. And that's fine with me. My best friend is also my roommate. And things were going well. We've been friends for a couple of years, but only really grew close when her boyfriend left her and moved away. He was living with us at the time, and when he left, I became her support network, so to speak. We had fun, went out, met people and were generally very close.
Three months after they split, he moved back. Moved back into our house and got back together with my friend. Which is great for her. Sort of. I mean, he makes her happy. But he does nothing but insult me, which I can deal with in small doses. But this is getting beyond ridiculous, and making me feel generally worthless and unhappy.
But what annoys me the most is my friends behaviour since he came back. I was there for her throughout the entire, messy breakup. I listened to her cry about how much she missed him. And now that he's back, it's like I barely even exist. I have hardly had a conversation with her in the last month. We don't go out anymore, because he doesn't like it. I've lost contact with all of the people we met while they were apart, because he doesn't like them. I lost 33lbs while he was gone, because we were eating healthier and better. I don't know what to do. The sight of them being all smoochy and lovey makes me want to punch holes in the wall. And she basically told me the other day that 'she doesn't need me anymore'. This might seem like I'm being jealous and petty, but it's really bugging me. I can't put up with it much more. But I can't move out either.
On top of all this, my grandfather died just before this all happened, and I was hoping she would be a similar support to me as I was to her, but apparently that's too much to ask for. She is too busy with him to even notice that I'm feeling down. I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't have anywhere to go. And it's starting to frustrate me to the max.
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Unread 03-30-2013, 08:39 AM   #2
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Default Re: Isolated and unhappy

If i have a friend like that doesnt matter how lonely iam , i will walk away, i dont need anyone to make me more unhappy..
iam sorry bout your grandfather ((hugs)), btw is it possible for you to move out and find another place tolive?
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Unread 03-30-2013, 09:57 AM   #3
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Hi Frankie, I really empathise with you. It is so hard to lose a friend…especially too when you really needed her when you granddad died.
I know what a feels like to be there for a friend, help them thru bad times and then get nothing in return.

I learned the hard way and I think you are too.

She really isn't being a friend to you in any sense of the word. It's unfortunate I know.
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Unread 03-31-2013, 06:34 AM   #4
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Moving out isn't really an option. This is my first rental property and I don't really want to break the lease. Plus, if I move out I'll end up back at my parents house, which wouldn't be an ideal situation.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:44 AM   #5
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(ps sorry for the late reply. I was away and only just saw this.)
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Unread 04-24-2013, 12:07 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frankiemac View Post
Moving out isn't really an option. This is my first rental property and I don't really want to break the lease. Plus, if I move out I'll end up back at my parents house, which wouldn't be an ideal situation.
Is it possible to have them move out and get another roommate? Or, contact some of those people you liked and met when the bf was gone and start your own friendships? It sounds like you are someone very capable of meeting people, doing healthy things, and you are letting yourself be dragged down by a lousy situation...not that it is easy to give up on something that once was good. At least get yourself out and about (a gym, a craft lesson, something...) and get a friend or two to invite home yourself.
Do keep your eye open for a place you can afford once the lease is up and you get your up front money back. This time will be past...hang in there.
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Unread 04-24-2013, 12:12 PM   #7
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Default Re: Isolated and unhappy

She's your roommate, but is she on the lease? Who is on the lease? If she's not, kick her out and get a new one. If she is, either get her to take it over or to give it to you voluntarily. Because you don't deserve the ribbing from the dlck boyfriend. As others have pointed out, she is not your friend. and therefore she should get out of your life. This is not a good homelife to be having. Breaking a lease can be done irresponsibly or responsibly. If you do it responsibly by renegotiating as I have described, there will be no problem. The landlord will have continuity and you will be rid of her. It's not easy but what you have is untenable except for the person who really likes to lay back and put up with whatever happens. Doesn't sound like you. You posted this almost a month ago. How's it going now?
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Unread 04-24-2013, 11:57 PM   #8
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It's me and her on the lease. In my opinion, there would be no way of renegotiating. I think I'll have to stick it out until September when the lease runs out.
Things are going the same as they were. Im spendin a lot of time at work and out of the house lately so I don't have to put up with it quite as much. But it's still there and still annoying.
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