|11-10-2013, 08:07 AM||#1|
Resident Bipolar This sick strange darkness Comes creeping on so haunting every time
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: Midlands, England, UK
If she were to ask ...
If my psychiatrist were to ask how I've been feeling in the weeks before my appointment on the 2nd December, this is how I intend to answer her:
"Take it this way: envisage, if you could, lying in a large field. Underneath you and across every angle of sight grows light, yet vivid, green grass, gently shimmering in the light summery breeze. The warm suns beats down upon your face and exposed forearms, providing blissful heat which goes perfectly hand-in-hand with the refreshing breeze. In your surroundings, everywhere you look, is a home to tall and green trees, dazzlingly bright white Orchids, a mash of colorful Lilies with their blooms soaked in purples, oranges and whites. A bright and peaceful butterfly sits calmly, perched upon a deep yellow Daffodil - it’s wings of orange, black and white bounce color and light off them like a riving reflecting the sun on a summer’s day.
All around are your friends and your loved ones, merrily taking advantage of the sunlight with a plethora of sport equipment; a Frisbee, cricket balls, wickets, bats, footballs and a manner of all things fun accompany the shouts of joy and harmonious laughter. To your left, tightly clasping your hand, is your boyfriend: staring at you with the look that sings a hundred love songs without uttering a single sound and the smile that stole your heart years before.
You smile, in a world of bliss, happiness and warmth. It’s all ended with just one blink. One blink and before your eyes it all changes. The sun is blocked by an ominous dark-grey cloud as the Orchids, Lilies and Daffodils quickly wilt and die; the trees shed their leaves which shrivel and crumple within seconds and the beautiful butterfly turns into an angry black widow spider. The sights and sounds of friends and loved ones playing and having fun quickly fade, as your boyfriend’s clasp on your hand is instantaneously released and he slowly moves further and further out of reach. You are unable to move as, after a matter of a few minutes, everything that was beautiful is now terribly depressing and dark. The sky turns black as your surroundings are shrouded by darkness and despair.
In desperation you try to scream for help but you remain silent. Your boyfriend is opposite you, calling for you, but he’s out of reach and your voice refuses to make itself known. All alone, you feel the tears trickling down your face. You’re trapped and nobody can help."
This is how I chose to described the transition from hypomania to depression, which coincidentally is how I've been feeling the past week or so.
Bipolar life has it's ups and downs
Bipolar Blog: https://afrayedmind.wordpress.com
Last edited by Resident Bipolar; 11-10-2013 at 09:10 AM.