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Unread 02-18-2010, 06:54 PM   #1
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Default Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave home. Even if my husband is driving me, I don't want to go but I have to. I literally have to force myself. If left on my own I would just stay inside and never come out. I'd have groceries delivered. Why is this happening. I don't know what to do. This is the worst it's ever been. Anyone have some insight?
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Unread 02-18-2010, 09:01 PM   #2
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

I have days I don't want to leave the house.

I don't know the story behind you not wanting to leave. Mine is just a social anxiety, I don't want to be around people. My pdoc says I withdraw from society. Sometimes it gets so bad I don't even want to come out of my room. I have to force myself to not only come out of my room, but leave the house.

I find that if I keep to a routine it helps. I get up, go to work, go to the gym come home. Saturdays I go to the gym and come home. Sundays I stay in. My husband goes to the grocery store and does any other running he can do for me.

It's not easy, and there's nothing wrong with you. It takes a lot to overcome what you're going through, but I know you can do it, you just have to find what works for you.
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Unread 02-18-2010, 09:24 PM   #3
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

I feel for you, and what you describe is exactly what I have experienced. My heart goes out to you - I remember so well what that is like.
The volunteering helped me so much. I was petrified the first time I went. I was fine. The more you get out, the more you realize that other people have fears, worries, concerns. When I was at home a lot I felt everyone else had it together, except me (which of course is rubbish). Someone here has as their signature "Be kind, as everyone is fighting some kind of a battle".
Support groups and hospital program were enormously therapeutic. Just listening to other peoples' stories.
The mother of Isaiah Thomas used to say,
"You take one step and the Lord takes two.
He'll work the wonder for you".
Thinking of you and wishing you well.
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Unread 02-18-2010, 10:12 PM   #4
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

I would totally be that way too. I have a job and a few other committments that get me out of the house or else like you, I wouldn't actually be able to leave. If I have a day off work (which at this point only happens once per month) I stay inside and curl up on the couch all day. Even my last job where I had more days off, if I didn't have something planned to do then I wouldn't leave the house. It's an anxiety thing for me. I can't stand being around people but for me my strong sense of responsibility gets me going. Maybe you could do like Nudy suggested and join a gym or something like that (a class perhaps) where you have to go because you have an 'appointment.' I don't know what the answer is for sure, but a routine and planning can possibly help. Good luck and sorry you're going through this right now.
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Unread 02-18-2010, 10:41 PM   #5
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

Thank you all. I think, like you said, some type of appointment or responsibility outside the house might help. Can't work right now.

My ability to focus more than 1/2 hr to 1 hr is shot. People or anything can set off severe anxiety or, on occasion, a panic attack. A gym I tried sent me into panic mode.

But if I can start off vounteering somewhere, like the library, that may be a good start, kind of easing into a job-like setting.
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Unread 02-18-2010, 10:51 PM   #6
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

Hi Journey Upward. I'm in the same boat you are. I don't leave my house to go anywhere unless my hubby takes me. Then I have panic attacks so bad that I'm afraid of getting sick. I go out to take a trash bag to the container, get the newspaper off the back stoop, and bring in firewood right outside the back door. That's the limit of my going outside alone.
I'm afraid of people - having to talk to someone freaks me out! I'm seeing a psych doc but so far not getting anywhere... The meds just help with my bp depression.
My p-doc suggested that I help out at the local animal shelter where I would find lots of love and affection... You might want to try that... Just a thought. Good luck with everything!
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Unread 02-18-2010, 10:58 PM   #7
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

I too had trouble with leaving the house. I suffer from agoraphobia and have severe panic attacks. My Doc arranged for me to get a service dog. He has been a huge help in getting me out of the house, however I don't go very far, but I do get out more often. I find comfort in my dog, he can tell when my anxiety is up and he leads me away from stress. Just a thought.
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Unread 02-19-2010, 01:32 PM   #8
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

oh gosh YES!! i have trouble and feel like poeple watch if i check the mail!! some days are better than others. I actually get to a point that i wont take care of my hygeine. which is disgusting and embarassing to admit, and i cant explain that i sometimes deal with an aversion to showering, i get like panicky thinking about it even...yes i am medicated and it doesnt affect or help at all with the social avoidance and other issues... hope you can figure out how to deal and if so PLEASE let me in on the solution.... sorry if i gave TMI....a little manicy now but basically okay so anyways take care
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Unread 02-19-2010, 03:41 PM   #9
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

I can get that way if I start isolating myself for depression or dysphoric mania. No fun. Takes awhile to blow over, but leaves me feeling very chaotic and out of control.
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Unread 02-19-2010, 04:35 PM   #10
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Default Re: Need Help! Don't want to leave the house!

I only just this week felt better about going out of the house, I have a friend who is a teacher and she has a two year old. She is on vacation right now so she called me up and we went out a few times this week and brought the kids to the mall to play in an indoor playground. I hope I can feel as good next week about going out when I don't have my friend as a buffer zone.

It did make me feel better about myself.

I think it has been about a year since I felt OK about leaving my house and only went out if I had to. I didn't even like to take the dog out because I felt like people were watching me.

I hope this streak continues for me.

Anyway, my point is that you aren't alone, and it will pass and you will have good days.
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