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Unread 05-23-2013, 08:17 AM   #1
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Default Another New Job Anxiety Post

Just started a new job this week. But truly it is just a transfer from one department in my call center to another call center department. I should be able to handle this. My four year anniversary at this company is in
September. But being in training has prompted panic attacks and migraines. I left a message at my T's office at 5am today so I could see if she could see me. I already saw her on Tuesday. I feel weak and pathetic.

I've been looking for other jobs for a while now, and nothing has come of it. It's so disheartening. So when I saw the job posting for this brand new department, I figured that I should give that a try. At first glance, this is actually a good opportunity for me. There's nowhere to go but up in this new department. My new boss mentioned to me that she will be hiring more people sometime in July and she will be needing a trainer. I have supervisor experience that I held at another company, so I know that I am qualified. But I can barely make it through my training each day. I don't know what to do. Every time I set foot in that training room I want to run.

I also live with my mom and we share my car. She pretty much has had my car all week so I feel like I am trapped there until she can get me. Part of the reason why I changed my availability in my previous department was so that I could start so early that she wouldn't want to drop me off and I could have the car. If I started to feel anxious in my last job I could just ask to leave (depending on if we were busy or not of course). And I simply can't ask to leave early during training. We are covering so much information each day, so anything I miss is a huge deal. Also this new boss seems like a jerk. (Not that it matters, but still) I am wondering for the millionth time if I made the right decision in transferring to another department. I wish I could just quit but I need the money.

I apologize for the length of this post. It started out as a paragraph and just kinda exploded from there. :/
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Unread 05-23-2013, 02:08 PM   #2
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Default Re: Another New Job Anxiety Post

It doesn't sound like weakness to me that you are connecting with our therapist more frequently as you enter this new position. It sounds like the right thing to do, so good on you. I went back to work after being out for several months due to anxiety and depression and it was one of the hardest things I ever did. My first morning back, I threw up I was so stressed. My heart goes out to you.

When my anxiety exacerbates, I look for an "out" like sitting in the back of church so I can leave if I feel too panicky (I rarely do leave, but I give myself the option). I realize that you feel like you can't leave in this new job but I bet if you really had need to leave an hour or two early, the company wouldn't colapse and you would not lose your job. Sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself (not uncommon for those of us with anxiety!).

Anxiety and panic are baffeling when they are in full gear. Hugs to you!
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Unread 05-23-2013, 09:33 PM   #3
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Default Re: Another New Job Anxiety Post

I'm so sorry Lulu. I know what you are going through. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you know you are qualified and know you can do it, anxiety is inexplicable. Maybe you could talk to your mom. You might feel a lot better if you had your car with you.
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Unread 05-24-2013, 12:07 AM   #4
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Default Re: Another New Job Anxiety Post

Thank you both for your replies!

Today I had my car with me and it helped immensely. Putting a lot of pressure on myself is my specialty! I feel less alone now. Honestly I keep trying to "get" why I feel the way that I do, but it's true, it really is inexplicable. There's no rhyme or reason to it, which freaks me out even more, lol.

Another day tomorrow. At least I have Monday off.
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Unread 05-24-2013, 01:14 PM   #5
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Happy Friday tigerlily. You made it through the week. How are you doing today?
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Unread 05-24-2013, 02:23 PM   #6
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Default Re: Another New Job Anxiety Post

It takes months to get comfortable in a new job, bosses know you don't truly know everything yet. Bosses tend to be that way for some reason . take it easy don't stress yourself or you'll burn out. This is a great thing you've accomplished so take time and pamper yourself.
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Unread 05-25-2013, 02:23 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Lulu View Post
Happy Friday tigerlily. You made it through the week. How are you doing today?
Thanks Little Lulu! Happy Friday to you too!
I'm doing a lot better, but this morning was pretty much filled with anxiety and self-loathing. I have been battling suicidal thoughts and at one point I thought that I should go to the hospital. It was touch and go for a while there, but I am hanging in there. Mostly I feel disconnected at the moment. I have gotten a lot more practice and studied some more, and I feel somewhat more comfortable with the material and my job duties.
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Unread 05-25-2013, 02:29 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan1212 View Post
It takes months to get comfortable in a new job, bosses know you don't truly know everything yet. Bosses tend to be that way for some reason . take it easy don't stress yourself or you'll burn out. This is a great thing you've accomplished so take time and pamper yourself.
Yes you're right about it taking months in order to get comfortable in a new job. In my case, since I transferred from a different department my boss has said that she expects a lot more from me than the new hires. Like I needed to hear that! I'm also a perfectionist, so if I don't meet my own impossibly high standards, then I feel like a piece of ****. This weekend I will find a way to pamper myself... I have to go shopping for the dress I'm going to wear to a bridal shower next weekend. Maybe I'll do that. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post!
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