Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > Mental Health Support > Anxiety, Panic and Phobias



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 01-04-2012, 12:31 AM   #1
Humble Peer
 
BrokenNBeautiful's Avatar
BrokenNBeautiful If you see a "hug" after your post, I MEAN IT!.
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: not connected to anything but myself, my only reliable source
Posts: 3,331
My Mood:

5 yr Member
1,329 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

Esp. a store.

I was hungry and wanted to go in for a sandwich at the deli.

I was so afraid of feeling stupid and the man yelling at me. I was thinking, "Even if he doesnt' yell, shouldn't he? I feel so stupid!"

I hear that social/agora phobia is caused by our thoughts.

but does anyone have a paralyzing (or moderate) fear of stores?

I am scared I am not going to find what I want or I am going to annoy the people.

I was too scared to go in and have a sandwich.

gd it I am 44! I can do this.

But I still am so scared of feeling stupid.

I had to go to the drug store and buy some medicine tonight and the only reason I went was because I was sick and needed it. And I was familiar with the place.

Unknowns are scary.

Ani (mentor) told me today that since I have been sick and laid up over the holidays, I have been re-sensitized and need to practice going out again.


Billi
__________________
The most stable, consistent love in the world available to us is the love we have for ourselves. Why? Because only we have command of it.
BrokenNBeautiful is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Unread 01-04-2012, 08:15 AM   #2
Pandita-in-training
 
Perna's Avatar
Perna is feeling.
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 26,104 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
434 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

Hi, Billi. I use to have a fear of riding buses (didn't think when I rang the bell at my stop to get off that they'd stop the bus, they'd be angry with me for wanting that) and pumping gas at a gas station I'd never used (they'd get angry, tell me I wasn't supposed to be there) and lots of other buying like that. I didn't like deli's or buying food alone, as you say, either, they might laugh at me or not let me.

Lots of therapy and getting to know myself and making myself do these things anyway and observing that what I feared never happened got me over 99% of such fears. Even if I am anxious today I can just do it anyway and concentrate on what I want rather than the other people I am afraid of. Concentrate on how it will taste when you get it instead of their being angry and not giving it to you; that doesn't generally happen so I just "think of something else" especially something I'm doing after I order (eating :-)
__________________
“Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Why me?", then a voice answers "Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.” ~Charles M. Schulz
Perna is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 01-04-2012, 02:21 PM   #3
Member
 
shelterdog71's Avatar
shelterdog71 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago, IL USA
Posts: 44
My Mood:

3 yr Member
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

Quote:
Originally Posted by billi_leli View Post
but does anyone have a paralyzing (or moderate) fear of stores?
I am scared I am not going to find what I want or I am going to annoy the people.

I have the same problem but only with a new place I've never been to before. There's several new stores that opened up that I'm dying to try but won't dare go there unless I can get someone to go with me. I've always been this way and really don't understand it. A few times I've gone in a new place alone and was terrified even though I had NO reason to be. Even if they didn't have what I wanted I would still pick something and buy it so people wouldn't look at me funny or think bad things. I should have just walked out without buying anything but I thought that would be worse.

I realize it's dumb, I have every right to be in that store, and that NOBODY is paying attention to me...but I just can't handle it. I always think people are watching my every move, judging everything I do, and talking about me behind my back. Yet I don't feel this way when I go to a store that I am familiar with. I have no problems going alone and am fully confident while in the store. I'll talk to people, ask questions, etc. and have no issues with it.
shelterdog71 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2012, 08:18 PM   #4
Member
 
Justbyou's Avatar
Justbyou Life is good today..
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 49
My Mood:

2 yr Member
4 hugs
given
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

I can relate so much to all of you. My phobia can happen with new places or ones such as the gym that I've gone to several times. I'm not sure what caused it because I haven't always been like this. It's the oddest thing. Dealing with it has been a work in progress.
Justbyou is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 01-04-2012, 09:49 PM   #5
Humble Peer
 
BrokenNBeautiful's Avatar
BrokenNBeautiful If you see a "hug" after your post, I MEAN IT!.
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: not connected to anything but myself, my only reliable source
Posts: 3,331
My Mood:

5 yr Member
1,329 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post

I didn't like deli's or buying food alone, as you say, either, they might laugh at me or not let me.
Thanks.

Are you afraid they would not serve you?

I get intimidated by the "we reserve the right to refuse service..."

Interesting about the gas pump. I dont' pump gas, but I get scared someone will t hink I'm stupid cause I don't know how to do something. Examples: automated cashiers and copy machines.

Billi
__________________
The most stable, consistent love in the world available to us is the love we have for ourselves. Why? Because only we have command of it.
BrokenNBeautiful is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2012, 09:51 PM   #6
Humble Peer
 
BrokenNBeautiful's Avatar
BrokenNBeautiful If you see a "hug" after your post, I MEAN IT!.
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: not connected to anything but myself, my only reliable source
Posts: 3,331
My Mood:

5 yr Member
1,329 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

Quote:
Originally Posted by shelterdog71 View Post

I realize it's dumb, I have every right to be in that store, and that NOBODY is paying attention to me...but I just can't handle it.
I get scared that they might think I am going to steal something or loiter or harrass them.

Billi
__________________
The most stable, consistent love in the world available to us is the love we have for ourselves. Why? Because only we have command of it.
BrokenNBeautiful is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-04-2012, 09:52 PM   #7
Humble Peer
 
BrokenNBeautiful's Avatar
BrokenNBeautiful If you see a "hug" after your post, I MEAN IT!.
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: not connected to anything but myself, my only reliable source
Posts: 3,331
My Mood:

5 yr Member
1,329 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Justbyou View Post
I can relate so much to all of you. My phobia can happen with new places or ones such as the gym that I've gone to several times. I'm not sure what caused it because I haven't always been like this. It's the oddest thing. Dealing with it has been a work in progress.

New places esp freak me out. It's the unknowns. Or if I haven' been somewhere in a while.

Not being able to go to IHOP because it's a new place.
__________________
The most stable, consistent love in the world available to us is the love we have for ourselves. Why? Because only we have command of it.
BrokenNBeautiful is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-07-2012, 04:35 PM   #8
Member
 
Brokenwings73's Avatar
Brokenwings73 So full of anxiety and frustrated.
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: Delaware
Posts: 62
My Mood:

2 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

I have a paralyzing fear stores. I have to have lists with no more than 5 items. I can't handle lines. Half the time I just leave my things! And I refuse to go grocery shopping. I send people with lists for me. One the rare occasion I'm there I'm in full blown panic attack. I also have a severe eating disorder so restaurants also cause anxiety. I'm so much happier sitting at home ands doing projects. I've found knitting and writing help alot.
Brokenwings73 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 01-07-2012, 06:23 PM   #9
Grand Poohbah
 
Irine's Avatar
Irine has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2007
Location: Israel
Posts: 1,551
My Mood:

5 yr Member
113 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

I am scared of feeling stupid a lot. at work, in stores, when i order food.....SOOO many places. It sucks.

I am trying to practice this:
Remember my assumption (construction, conviction) for instance: "I am going to annoy them" and WITH THAT in mind go into the store. With the fear and everything.

After you are done ask yourself if most people there reacted in away that showed annoyance or not?
Try to recall what you thought before you went into the store, all your fears, and now see which were justified and which were not. Next time you will go into a store remember your last experience. Always pay attention to the way you feel before you go in - and after you get out - examine what happened, what you exactly dear, if what you fear the most happened - if yes- how are you doing now?



Irine is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 01-07-2012, 06:27 PM   #10
Grand Member
Aslan has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2011
Posts: 605
2 yr Member
Default Re: any body afraid of going into a store or restaurant?

smile act freindly and dont steal the products.
Aslan is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:53 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity Guidelines Help

Helplines and Lifelines
eTrust Pro Certified